god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
