I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
