He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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