You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Of course I have a pirate flag
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
