She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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