there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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