Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
