Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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