Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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