I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
