I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
