ADVERTISEMENT

• (604): View more from British Columbia

  I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.

  Fav 2 816 2293

  share tweet
  

• (828): View more from North Carolina

  Ill do this for you.

  (1-828): View more from North Carolina

  You are a team player.

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.

  Fav 11 3328 780

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?

  Fav 17 985 3793

  share tweet
  

• (386): View more from Florida

  I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.

  Fav 44 2225 5951

  share tweet
  

• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall

  Fav 19 5228 1132

  share tweet
  

• (856): View more from New Jersey

  he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.

  Fav 9 825 1874

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (707): View more from California

  He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.

  Fav 5 1006 1232

  share tweet
  

• (440): View more from Ohio

  no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night

  Fav 1 771 970

  share tweet
  

• (218): View more from Minnesota

  Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?

  Fav 0 679 493

  share tweet
  

• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage

  Fav 1 1116 547

  share tweet
  

• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..

  (1-920): View more from Wisconsin

  On the bright side I still got laid

  Fav 3 1134 591

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (954): View more from Florida

  You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.

  Fav 0 133 178

  share tweet
  

• (716): View more from New York

  In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??

  Fav 1 10 55

  share tweet
  

• (507): View more from Minnesota

  First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab

  Fav 0 42 9

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (415): View more from California

  Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it

  Fav 0 49 7

  share tweet
  

Randomize