Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
