youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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