I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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