i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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