There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
