last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
