my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
