Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize