WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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