there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
