A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
please come you make the beer taste better
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I would ride that face into the sunset
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize