No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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