I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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