Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
The air was thick with penises
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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