Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
