Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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