so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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