We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
