I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
