I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm getting married
To pizza
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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