dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
