Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
