I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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