So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
