I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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