I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
