I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
