Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
