There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
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