playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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