After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
