Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
