Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
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