remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
