I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
