he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
