U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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