Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
