so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Enjoy the penises
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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