just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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