Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
