Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
My breasts were aching with rage.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
