Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
