Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
a search helicopter?!
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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