i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
