the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
