so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
