You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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