Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
