i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
